The Journey to Yasothon
I departed Bangkok at 7:30 A.M. on a beautiful Thursday morning to attend the Thai Buddhist wedding of my Canadian friend, Alan.
My destination was the town (mueang) of Yasothon, located in the northern Thailand region of Issan. Issan is widely known for its magnificent agricultural heritage and (most notably) its spicy cuisine. Phet mak mak cuisine! (Very, very spicey verses "phet noi" - just a little spicey).
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| Magnificent scenery enroute to Yasothon from Bangkok, Thailand |
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| Rice paddies cover vast areas of the Issan lowlands |
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| Enchanting feminine Thai! |
It was more than 10 hours limo ride with nine gorgeous Thai ladies and a solitary male companion - our driver
"What could be better," you ask, "than 10 hours sequestered with nine lovely Thai maidens?" The 10 hour return trip with nine gorgeous Thai maidens of course!
It was my good fortune to be invited to attend my first traditional Lanna Thai wedding
My Canadian friend, Alan, was about to culminate five years in romantic pursuit of the beautiful and talented Patumrat, pronounced "Patoomlat" and known as Pang by her adoring friends.
Approximately ten hours later, after pausing for a lakeside lunch, we arrived at mueang Yasothon. Alan had thoughtfully arranged lodging at the one-and-only hotel in Yasothon for the entire entourage.
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Feminine ingredients of the spicy wedding entourage
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After registering and snatching a short nap, I joined the entourage (now consisting of about twenty-five people), then traveled to a lakeside lodge where we celebrated the impending wedding ceremony with a fantastic catered dinner.
The table was heaped with an unbelievable variety of dishes made famous by the Issan regions spice-obsessed chefs!
They allowed silverware rather than watch me embarrass my self by impaling my cheeks and gums with chop sticks!
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| Unbelievable Thai delicacies |
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Spicy seafood salad "som tam talay"
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The exotic names of individual dishes were as delightful to the ear, as the savory herbs and incendiary spices were to the palate! Som tam talay, phrik paw mu krop, Larb mu, tom yum gai, tom kar gook, gai satay.
How could one not enjoy such a lyrical cuisine?
We ate and drank until nearly mid-night before returning to the hotel and collapsing after the long day which had begun nearly 20 hours previous.
The Wedding Day
Thai wedding parties involve a lot of eating, drinking, song, and Buddhist ritual. A Lanna wedding often begins before the sun rises. At 5 am, the family and villagers prepare food to give as their offerings to the monks when they arrive at the home of the bride.
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| Nine Bhuddist Monks from the village Wat (Temple) arrive at Pang's home |
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| Monks chant a blessing for Alan and pang |
Lanna (Northern Thai) weddings are not for the weak kneed or faint of heart. The wedding typically begins about 7 AM in the morning and may last (as this one did) until the wee hours of the following day!
It takes strong knees and a strong heart! So,"What about the knees?" you say. The knees come into play during the course of the ceremony several times throughout the day.
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| Monks enjoy the food and attention of the Bride's parents and extended family |
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| Chanting of the wedding mantras |
Example: On this wedding day, early in the morning, nine Buddhist Monks arrived at the home of Pang's parents to be served breakfast. (Lots of bowing and kow-tow-ing as the Monks enter the meticulously prepared premises where they are seated in comfort and served).
After breakfast, an extended ceremony involving the chanting of mantras and the blessing of the attendees and the betrothed takes place.
Of course most of the activity surrounding these rituals are performed while on one's knees.
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| Blessing of the extended family |
For a Westerner unaccustomed to the rituals, it can become sort of like attending your first yoga session; self-conscious squirming and writhing about on the floor attempting to comfortably position yourself to observe (in this instance) the Monks and other principles involved in the ceremony.
Mercifully, the ritual is paused from time-to-time (perhaps "interrupted" is a better characterization) to allow for "re-cycling" the abundant supply of foods and beverages lavished on the guests who have been invited to the morning ceremony.
These pauses in the liturgy and ritual give one time to stand, walk-about and stretch, encouraging the body's blood supply to flow to all those spots that were denied its sustenance while you posed in various contorted positions on the floor.
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| How do Thai ladies keep their posture so perfect? |
An example of "contorted position" might be the following: When addressing a Monk, while serving food or presenting oneself for a blessing or mantra, you must do so without ever pointing your feet in the direction of the Monk or deity.
Processionals and recessionals (sometimes carrying hot food or liquids) are difficult maneuvers to accomplish without pointing your toes at someone while shuffling about on your knees, especially when hamstrung or with an ancient back and tender patella!
Presentations By The Groom
It is easier to pictorially summarize the chain of events that unfold during the remainder of the wedding day ceremony rather than attempt narrative to accomplish the effort. The ceremony is much more complicated than the brief civil or religious rituals to which we Westerners are accustomed.
I encourage you to read the citation provided that describes in detail, the ceremonious day I enjoyed with Alan, Pang, her friends, family and, indeed, most of the village in which Pang's parents reside and teach.
SIN SOD
Sin Sod is a longstanding Thai custom where a groom ceremonially gives the bride’s family a cash gift on the day of their wedding.
Sin
Sod is often mistranslated as “dowry,” a word which actually refers to
the custom of a bride’s family making a payment to the groom’s family.
Although Sin Sod is popularly referred to as “Thai Dowry,” “Thai Bride
Price” is a more accurate description of the practice.
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| A respected village Elder inspects and prepares the Sin Sod |
The custom evolved not to enrich the wife’s parents, but to ensure that the groom was financially stable. Investing in your bride shows her family that you are serious, hardworking, and there to stay.
The purpose of the Sin Sod is to strengthen family bonds and maintain financial stability. Although the cultural tradition of paying a Sin Sod persists to this day, part of the money is sometimes returned to the couple after the wedding to help them start their new life together.
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| The sin sod is paraded through the village until the home of the Bride's parents is reached |
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| Alan reaches the Gold Gate |
"Gatekeepers" at gold gate are normally the parents or the parents closest friends. They will torment the groom and insist that he make a public promise to the guests and the villagers that he will be a good husband and wonderful new member of the bride’s family before he can see his bride-to-be. Only then is the groom allowed to enter the house. Once he has entered, the marriage ceremony begins.
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| I present 1 million Thai Baht to Pang's Grandmother |
The Sin Sod is presented by the Groom's entourage to members of the Bride's family.
Alan's Sin Sod was comprised of gold jewelry (Khong Man), gold coins, the wedding jewelry and 1 million Thai Baht.
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| Arranging 1 million baht - a rare experience |
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| Pang's mum escapes with the sin sod - a feat requiring considerable physical effort !! |
The Wedding Ceremony
This part of the Thai wedding ceremony is officiated by the village elder who has received training as a monk earlier in life.
The
couple sits or kneels on large pillows in front of the elder while he
gets the pook kor mue, strings made from nine cords of cotton yarn and
prepared on a special tray, usually by a Monk at the village Wat. (The
number nine is considered a lucky number in Thai culture).
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| The pook kor mue is placed upon their heads |
The "set" of pook kor mue is then handed by helpers to guests older than the couple, who place it on the couples head, "bonding" them together.
This act symbolizes the couple's commitment to each other, an unbreakable bond of marriage.
This tradition symbolizes that their marriage is a social bond as well as a personal relationship. Older guests share their wisdom on married life while everyone else takes the opportunity to congratulate the newlyweds with sincere wishes for happiness, good health, financial prosperity, and healthy children.
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| The "gift tree" adorned with envelopes of cash and trinkets |
Monetary and other gifts are also presented to the Bride and Groom, as-well-as the contribution of advice for a harmonious marriage. Monetary gifts are placed in the personalized envelope in which your wedding invitation was delivered.
After pook kor mue, the couple is escorted to their nuptial bedroom, which is decorated with flowers and items that symbolize fertility and prosperity.
An older Thai couple will be sitting on the nuptial bed, waiting for the newlyweds to arrive. Thai people believe that an old couple is evidence of long, successful marriages. The end of the wedding ceremony is marked when the newlyweds sit together on the bed, thus symbolizing the beginning of a life together.
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| Pang's Father blesses the union |
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| Pang's Mother welcomes her Son-In-Law |
Feasting and celebration continued in the village until late afternoon, at which time my group of Thai lovelies, my driver and myself, stole away to the limo, hastily returned to Yasothon in order to prepare for the culminating event of the marriage marathon.
Beginning of The End of the Wedding Day
Why do Thai love a wedding feast so much? Because the liquid refreshments flow freely, the artistic arrangement and presentation of numerous Thai dishes is offerred in copious quantities and the groom gets to pay. (kidding of course)!
Thai are among the most generous and hospitable hosts, friends and acquaintances I have ever experienced, and they thrive on celebrating their neighbors good fortune, good karma!
My friend, Alan, is not only a superb example of gentility at its best, he is also a very generous person.
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| Over 300 guests attended the post wedding ceremony banquet |
In keeping with his natural tendencies, Alan invited the whole village to descend on the hotel in Yasothon for a catered dinner that evening, to celebrate the occasion of his marriage to Pang. It was not an opportunity the village over-looked, as in excess of three hundred guests arrived for the 7 PM overture of the wedding feast event!
I must say, the guests attending were quite impressive...including the Governor (Obahdah), the Mayor of Yasothan, the Regional Superintendent of Education and many, many other individuals of Provincial notoriety!
Each gave a speech (of course), including Alan, who graciously acknowledged his (now) wife's wisdom, in asking him, "will you marry me?"
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| Banquet table |
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| Wedding feast of delicacies and Issan cuisine |
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| The wedding cake-Artistic
Lanna Thai classic
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Most moving to me, was the appearance of many, many of Pang's childhood friends and schoolmates with whom she had maintained the village bond over the years.
I thoroughly enjoyed the camaraderie of Pang's many friends and schoolmates as we shared each others "cultural idiosyncrasies" related to everything from weddings, to education, to childhood, adolescent and community relationships. (Good fodder for another blog post I think).
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| ALAN AND PANG - A Celebration of Love |
Epilogue
My good friend and traveling companion, Tom, recently shared a quote from Mark Twain's famous novel, Innocents Abroad, in which Twain pens this suggestion:
"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things can not be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."
Observing Alan and Pang's commitment to honor their diverse cultures, traditions and ethnicity was, for me, a poignant illustration of what Twain instructed in his narrative.
I am forever grateful to the three of them...Alan, Pang and Mark Twain, for enlightening me, to that which remains illusive to so many who inhabit our planet.
I wish to conclude this post with a personal reflection regarding what I perceive to be a human being's natural tendencies to discount the efficacy of inter-racial, inter-cultural relationships.
Having experienced Alan and Pang's odyssey, which culminated in the beautiful and traditional (Lanna Thai Buddhist) ceremony honoring their parents, their village and their personal commitment to each other, I have personally resolved to always look for and appreciate diversity...that which enriches the human experience.
Alan and Pang, may you enjoy eternal happiness, health and good fortune in your life together!
